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Police Humor

A treasure of police humor, jokes and funnies.

Slow Down Or Stop
Published: January 15, 2012 | | 12120 Clicks |
A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic.

The 10 Most Wanted
Published: November 13, 2011 | | 47572 Clicks |
Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board.

The Helpful Wife
Published: October 23, 2011 | | 53878 Clicks |
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place...

Bank Robbery In Texas
Published: February 03, 2011 | | 15222 Clicks |
A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

Prison Vs. Full-Time Job
Published: January 18, 2011 | | 34675 Clicks |
Which is better?

Illegally Crossing The Border
Published: February 12, 2010 | | 19091 Clicks |
Some interesting facts if you decide to cross the border illegally...

Don't Say This To A Cop
Published: February 05, 2010 | | 66138 Clicks |
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

Writing A Ticket...
Published: September 29, 2009 | | 17478 Clicks |
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.

You're Going To Get Screwed
Published: March 17, 2008 | | 38781 Clicks |
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds...

Two Blondes
Published: March 05, 2008 | | 41120 Clicks |
Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Judy plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffy, in great detail. The robbery begins...

The Chicago Police Department
Published: September 21, 2007 | | 28275 Clicks |
In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the president narrowed the field to three finalist, the CIA, the FBI, and the Chicago Police.

Cheap And Simple Ways To Ward Off Burglars
Published: July 31, 2007 | | 45211 Clicks |
The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations.

A Case For The FBI
Published: July 22, 2007 | | 32009 Clicks |
The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood." "This will be noted."

Potato Sack Crooks
Published: July 22, 2007 | | 28698 Clicks |
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.

Catching The Shoplifter
Published: July 18, 2007 | | 26738 Clicks |
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?"

New Person In Prison
Published: July 02, 2007 | | 31258 Clicks |
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102...

Return To Sender
Published: June 29, 2007 | | 21029 Clicks |
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.

The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."

The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

 

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A man was charged with harassment after answering his front door naked on Euclid Avenue.

Celebrity Mug Shot Of The Day

Ozzy Osbourne

The controversial John "Ozzy" Osbourne has had many brushes with the law. He was arrested in February 1982 in San Antonio, Texas for lifting up the dress he was wearing and urinating on the Alamo and then again in May 1984 in Memphis, Tennessee for public intoxication as he stumbled down Beale Street. Osbourne was arrested in September 1989 after allegedly trying to strangle his wife while he was drunk. Those charges were later dropped.

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