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Police Humor

A treasure of police humor, jokes and funnies.

Slow Down Or Stop
Published: January 15, 2012 | | 14880 Clicks |
A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic.

The 10 Most Wanted
Published: November 13, 2011 | | 50832 Clicks |
Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board.

The Helpful Wife
Published: October 23, 2011 | | 57260 Clicks |
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place...

Bank Robbery In Texas
Published: February 03, 2011 | | 17891 Clicks |
A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

Prison Vs. Full-Time Job
Published: January 18, 2011 | | 37505 Clicks |
Which is better?

Illegally Crossing The Border
Published: February 12, 2010 | | 21399 Clicks |
Some interesting facts if you decide to cross the border illegally...

Don't Say This To A Cop
Published: February 05, 2010 | | 69116 Clicks |
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

Writing A Ticket...
Published: September 29, 2009 | | 19438 Clicks |
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.

You're Going To Get Screwed
Published: March 17, 2008 | | 40700 Clicks |
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds...

Two Blondes
Published: March 05, 2008 | | 43432 Clicks |
Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Judy plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffy, in great detail. The robbery begins...

The Chicago Police Department
Published: September 21, 2007 | | 30092 Clicks |
In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the president narrowed the field to three finalist, the CIA, the FBI, and the Chicago Police.

Cheap And Simple Ways To Ward Off Burglars
Published: July 31, 2007 | | 47136 Clicks |
The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations.

A Case For The FBI
Published: July 22, 2007 | | 33821 Clicks |
The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood." "This will be noted."

Potato Sack Crooks
Published: July 22, 2007 | | 30675 Clicks |
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.

Catching The Shoplifter
Published: July 18, 2007 | | 28537 Clicks |
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?"

New Person In Prison
Published: July 02, 2007 | | 33085 Clicks |
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102...

Return To Sender
Published: June 29, 2007 | | 22715 Clicks |
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.

The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go."

The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

 

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Police Blotter

A Starbucks customer stole a tip jar with $25 in it from a drive-through in League City. League City Police Lt. Bruce Whitten said the theft happened just after 3 p.m. Sunday at the Starbucks at 100 E. Main Street.

Celebrity Mug Shot Of The Day

Glen Campbell

Arizona authorities arrested country singer Glen Campbell for drunk driving and hit and run in November 2003 after the 67-year-old performer ran his BMW into another car at a Phoenix intersection. Although Campbell left the scene of the accident, authorities found him at his home nearby. The police report states that officers smelled alcohol on the singer's breath and noted that he looked drunk. Campbell was booked into a Maricopa County jail, where he kneed a sergeant in the thigh, receiving an additional aggravated assault on a police officer charge. In May 2004, the country star pleaded guilty to extreme DUI and leaving the scene of an accident, for which he served 10 nights in jail in July 2004.

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