The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations.
Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious!
Dear Mr. Mailman, we found bloodstains all over our mail. They must be yours. The next time you put mail into our slot, please be sure to keep all parts of your body well clear of all openings. P.S. - Any sign of that book we sent for, "The Care and Feeding of Wild Jungle Cats"?
Selma, don't come in! The boa constrictor got loose again...
Dear Mr. Exterminator, be very careful when you go inside! The termites have eaten through most of the floorboards and you will fall into the basement where all of the rats are!
To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this house have been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have merely been wired to explode when touched. Good luck...
Police spotted a fire crew hooking their hose into a hydrant and filling a private swimming pool with water, authorities said.
R&B singer Michael Archer, better known as D'Angelo was charged with assault, disorderly conduct, and other misdemeanors in Virginia in November 2002 stemming from an incident in which the Grammy winner allegedly cut off a female motorist. According to official reports, the 28-year-old singer cursed and spit on the other motorist. The police subsequently served an arrest warrant on him and had to use pepper spray to subdue the agitated performer.