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Cheap And Simple Ways To Ward Off Burglars
Published: July 31, 2007 | | 48112 Clicks
The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations.

Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious!

Dear Mr. Mailman, we found bloodstains all over our mail. They must be yours. The next time you put mail into our slot, please be sure to keep all parts of your body well clear of all openings. P.S. - Any sign of that book we sent for, "The Care and Feeding of Wild Jungle Cats"?

Selma, don't come in! The boa constrictor got loose again...

Dear Mr. Exterminator, be very careful when you go inside! The termites have eaten through most of the floorboards and you will fall into the basement where all of the rats are!

To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this house have been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have merely been wired to explode when touched. Good luck...

 



 

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Hiroshi Nishizaki, 46, was arrested in Osaka, Japan, in May and accused of causing damage of the equivalent of about $5,500 by pouring urine on a neighbor's house on 169 occasions, because it was blocking Nishizaki's view.

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Tony LaRussa

Jupiter, Florida, authorities charged MLB manager Tony LaRussa with drunk driving in March 2007. The official report states that the St. Louis Cardinals' manager was slumped over the wheel of a Ford SUV in an intersection around midnight. After failing field sobriety tests, the 62-year-old LaRussa was transported to the Palm Beach County Jail, where Breathalyzer tests showed his blood alcohol content to be .093 - above Florida's .08 legal limit. LaRussa posted $500 bond and was released.

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