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The Chicago Police Department
Published: September 21, 2007 | | 30286 Clicks
In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the president narrowed the field to three finalist, the CIA, the FBI, and the Chicago Police.

The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.

The CIA went into the forest. They placed animal informants throughout. They questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI went into the forest. After two weeks without a capture, they burned the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They made no apologies. The rabbit deserved it.

The CPD went into the forest. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling "Okay, Okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit".

 



 

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Former Met and Yankee pitcher Dwight Gooden has had several run-ins with the law. In August 2005, he was charged with a felony after fleeing from Florida police during a DUI stop. He turned himself three days later, only to be charged with misdemeanor DUI and resisting arrest. He was held without bail. Gooden was also charged with misdemeanor domestic battery in March. According to official reports, he punched his girlfriend in the face. In February 2002, the former All-Star was charged with drunk driving; in June that same year he received probation after pleading guilty to a reduced charge of reckless driving.

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