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The Chicago Police Department
Published: September 21, 2007 | | 31259 Clicks
In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the president narrowed the field to three finalist, the CIA, the FBI, and the Chicago Police.

The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.

The CIA went into the forest. They placed animal informants throughout. They questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI went into the forest. After two weeks without a capture, they burned the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They made no apologies. The rabbit deserved it.

The CPD went into the forest. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling "Okay, Okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit".

 



 

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Mike Tyson

Scottsdale police arrested an inebriated Mike Tyson in December 2004 and charged him with misdemeanor criminal damage. According to the authorities, the ex-heavyweight champion left the Pussycat Lounge at 12:45 a.m. and jumped on the hood of a 1999 Toyota Solara. Tyson yelled at the car's driver while perched on his hands and knees, causing about $1500 in damage to the stranger's car. Scottsdale police arrested former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson again in December 2006, this time charging him with drunk driving and possession of cocaine. Tyson, 40, was pulled over outside an Arizona nightclub when his BMW nearly struck a sheriff's cruiser. After failing the field sobriety tests, the police arrested the boxer for driving under the influence. Authorities also found two small bags of cocaine in Tyson's pocket and third bag in his car. He was booked into the Maricopa County Sheriff's lockup.

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